Commissioner Chris Quinn expresses empathy and sadness for children who experience bereavement at a young age in his latest blog in support of Children’s Grief Awareness Week.
The coming week is a powerful reminder that every child who experiences loss has the right to care, understanding, and support. In accordance with the united Nations Convention on the Rights of the Child (UNCRC) Children have the right to the highest attainable standard of mental health (Article 24), to receive appropriate support when affected by family circumstances (Article 9), and to express their views and feelings freely (Article 12).
Throughout my time as Commissioner, children and young people have frequently spoken to me about their experiences of grief and loss.
At a recent school visit, a young person approached me with incredible bravery to share their story of bereavement. They told me that, while they were offered
counselling, the short-term support they received was not nearly enough to meet their needs. Their courage and honesty deeply moved me, and I promised them that I would think more about what can be done to ensure children in Northern Ireland receive the sustained and meaningful support they deserve. This post is dedicated to that young person, and to all children and young people who are grieving.
Every child’s experience of grief is unique, but many share a need for safe spaces to express their emotions and remember those they have lost. Simple, creative acts—such as writing letters to a loved one, creating a memory box, drawing, painting, or celebrating a person’s life—can help children process complex feelings. It is vital that children are supported to say goodbye in age-appropriate ways, included in family and community rituals, and given opportunities to talk openly and honestly about death. Avoiding euphemisms like “lost” or “passed away” and using clear, compassionate language helps children make sense of what has happened.
Beyond families and friends, schools, youth workers, and professionals all play a crucial role. Spending quality time with a grieving child, offering consistency, and ensuring they feel seen and heard can make an enormous difference. Where children are struggling, early access to counselling and specialist bereavement support—such as through professional services or peer group programmes like those run by Cancer Fund for Children—can help them build resilience and connection with others who understand their experience.
However, as the young person I met reminded me, short-term interventions are often insufficient. Children’s grief does not fit neatly into fixed timescales. We must ensure that therapeutic and emotional support for bereaved children is timely, long-term, and child-centred.
NICCY continues to call for:
- Early action to promote emotional health and well-being for all children and young people.
- Regular measurement of emotional well-being in schools, ensuring every pupil’s needs are identified and supported.
- Improved access to mental health and bereavement services, ensuring consistency and quality across Northern Ireland.
- Sustained investment in school-based counselling and specialist services, so that no child has to face grief alone or feel that help runs out too soon.
Grief is not a disorder; it is a natural response to love and loss. As adults, we have a collective duty—under the UNCRC and as a society—to ensure that every child is met with compassion, honesty, and understanding, and that their emotional needs are recognised and met.
This Children’s Grief Awareness Week, I stand with children and young people who are grieving. Your voices matter, your feelings matter, and your right to care and support must always be upheld.